


sunsets and beginnings

by LightningMcGay



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, Mentions of Attempted Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-02
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2020-02-15 23:41:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18679669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LightningMcGay/pseuds/LightningMcGay
Summary: it’s the same bridge as after high school, a part of him thinks, and he shakes his head because no, that wasn’t going to happen again. hajime wouldn’t allow it.





	sunsets and beginnings

hajime finds him sitting at the bridge’s rail, legs kicking thin air, facing the sun.

 

it’s the same bridge as after high school, a part of him thinks, and he shakes his head because no, that wasn’t going to happen again. hajime wouldn’t allow it. 

 

he has the mind to tell him off, to scold him, to grab his hand and keep him safe in his arms. it’s so easy. any disturbance could make his grip fail and tooru could fall, fall, and never get back up again.

 

it feels weird, even thinking of tooru and not getting back on his feet in the same sentence. 

 

because he always comes back, stronger than before. he pushes and pushes himself forward mercilessly, when the world says no, he says yes, and he proves them wrong.

 

iwaizumi hajime has never associated oikawa tooru with the word ‘weak’.

 

“you could die, you know.” he calls out, stopping a few feet away.

 

“i don’t care.” 

 

hajime has seen him at his best and at his worst, seen him stuff his face with marshmallows because of a stupid dare, seen him throw up several times in the morning after drinking too much, seen him challenge ushijima to a dance off when he was high and win, seen him staring into empty air after the doctors told him about his knee, seen him jump and disappear into the water til there was nothing of him left. 

 

hell, hajime was the one who dared him. he was the one who staggered his way home with him together after they graduated college, he was the one who had the weed, he was the one who couldn’t get to him on time to stop.

 

~~early, early, early, he could have been early, he should have been early, always late, he’s always late, late, late, late, late—~~

 

but he’s also been the one who has seen tooru stand tall after all of it, who has seen him take his meds, do his exercises, make disgusted faces but still eat his damn food even though it tastes bland to him.

 

he’s been there through everything with tooru but he’s never seen him look so exhausted.

 

it scares him.

 

tooru’s eyes are fixed at the horizon, the sun making the colours stand out in them.

 

as cheesy as it may sound, hajime could get lost in tooru’s eyes, the vast endless brown reminding him of how they first met, hajime covered with grime after catching bugs and tooru sticky and covered with bandaids after a whole day of reckless volleyball.

 

he sighs, skips over the rails so he’s resting on them the same way as tooru, legs dangling freely.

 

he looks down at the river.

 

neither of them could survive in it if they slipped. 

 

“we die like men.” he jokes, and tooru’s lips curve upwards in a small smile.

 

they stay like this in silence for hours, maybe minutes, til the sun starts to set. tooru’s eyes never stray far from it.

 

“hajime-“

 

“i wanted to-“

 

they turn, avoiding each other’s eyes awkwardly and a tension washes over them.

 

“you first.” he offers.

 

tooru inhales. “i got into nationals.”

 

hajime is sure fireworks explode somewhere around him, but it could also be his heart beating so fast he can’t hear anything else over it, his blood rushing, burning him from the inside.

 

it’s then that he realises that this wasn’t another of tooru’s odd gambles of life and death. it was him saying goodbye to it, the rush and adrenaline, him choosing to live.

 

the end of a day seems symbolic for the end of a lifetime worth of bad decisions based on impulse, for his self described adrenaline junkie methods of coping with everything. 

 

hajime laughs loud enough to startle tooru.

 

he licks his lips, dry, chapped, waiting for some kind of answer that isn’t likely to scare him to his death.

 

“i’m proud of you.” he says, and the universe damn him if he doesn’t mean every single word of it. 

 

he’s been with tooru through thick and thin, supported him, made sure that he takes care of himself, even begged for help from a god he didn’t believe in anymore, all for this day to come.

 

so he can see oikawa tooru laugh like he truly means it, the smile spreading over his face, making his eyes crinkle, still the same, brilliant, bright, engulfing everything he knows in a white heat, as when hajime first met him, both covered with dirt and sweat. 

 

he repeats, “i’m so fucking proud of you.” and he does and he does and he does, because he’s so happy and feeling too much at once and hajime starts crying somewhere between his crazy redundant words, enough to make him nearly topple to his death, enough for tooru to chuckle weakly and help him away from the rails. 

 

this is all he ever wanted: his best friend back. 

 

tooru grins at him warmly, his own eyes wet and teary, and hajime feels his heart melt at the sight.

 

“what were you going to say?” 

 

hajime grabs something out of his back pocket, flashes it forward for tooru to read, his mouth wide open.

 

and then hajime finds himself attacked by a 170-somewhere pounds man, clinging to him, his shirt rapidly getting wet from tears.

 

he hugs tooru back with just as intense emotions, wanting to never let go, wanting this to last forever.

 

for a split second, he wonders how insane they might look like, two men wrapped around each other in the middle of a bridge.

 

he snorts. he couldn’t care more of what people may think right now.

 

“i’m never leaving you again.” tooru says, a strange finality to his words that sinks deep into them.

 

it’s a promise. 

 

hajime turns to the sunset, shades of red and yellow, taking over the sky. he sneaks a fleeting glance at tooru.

 

it’s a tremendous view and he knows with certainty that he won’t ever see this again.

 

the end of something, hajime thinks, doesn’t necessarily have to be happy or sad or even bittersweet. sometimes, it just is.

 

but this time, as cliche goes, this finale just means the beginning of something new, a journey coming their way.

 

he turns to look at tooru, only to find him staring back, beaming.

 

hajime can’t wait for it. 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
